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Getting lost in experiences to find the next.

Cindy Wei
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9/30/2020

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​REMINIsCING ON A FIRST...


​​Chhh chhh. As I trudged forward on the light canyon sands, I stared at my feet, covered with the cheap $50 hiking boots quickly purchased from Zappos three years ago in Edinburgh. My toes were buried deep into the outworn soles, my knees almost buckling at every step into lower elevation. Both of my collar bones were scraped where my top backpacking straps had shaved the skin off, dried with red orange blood, the same hue as my 45 liter REI pack that felt ever so lighter with every step I took. Chhh chhh. The tiny rocks crunched under my boots. All of a sudden, my ears perked up like a dog as the faint sound of fresh running water ebbed into my drums. A waterfall. Before I knew it, adrenaline rushed into my veins and my legs escaped my body, my feet jumped forward and I was running. I looked down at my hiking boots as it pushed the earth soil to the side. Ch ch ch ch. My boots had hit emerald waters and I looked up. The face to the unheard song of Navajo Falls was singing just for me, its streams flowing light as a feather, the same weight as my backpack. My legs sprung forward.
 
My first backpacking trip was to Havasu Falls in March 2018. I had just ended a two year relationship a month prior, I had a strong dislike for my job and the company’s people, and my brain was still in denial about my father’s Stage 4 esophageal cancer, in which the news had broke in May 2017. I remember not crying. I remember crying harder for a mindless relationship for four months straight. I remember my father telling me to suck it up. I remember that was the worst, and the best, advice anyone has ever given me. Oh my father’s wise words.
 
That backpacking trip, as short as it was, led me to believe that hiking was one of those experiences in solitude that gave me a sense of clarity, even when I was dwelling on nothingness. I could choose to be alone, even if I was with a group of other hikers, reflect on my own thoughts. Or not.
 
I often catch myself moving forward, one step after the other, in fast motion, and before I can even squeeze a thought in, I’ve gone three miles. There would be so much clutter in my brain; it was like a game of pick-and-choose. And then I am on top of a mountain. I make it sound easy, but it is those strenuous, elevation-gaining, crazy treks I love that cause my brain to fire up. It is hard work that requires emotional and mental capacity to complete the journey, to continue to move forward. All the morals my father taught me in one activity. The view at the end is just the cherry, and the crunch of the earth under my shoes became my favorite sound.
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9/26/2017

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STUDY ABROAD


        Study abroad. That's the ultimate piece of advice I would give to anyone who is in college right now, because the experience studying abroad, I can say, definitely changed my life. There's a reason I am choosing to write about this as my first experience, and I'll tell you why in a moment.
        As a little background about myself, growing up in family of four kids and two very hardworking parents, I never really had the opportunity to travel; let alone knew anything of it. I remember not being able to take vacations during winter break, spring break, or summer break during high school simply because we were not as fortunate as other families out there. Oh, what did you do over the summer? That question I would dread answering because 99% of the time I would try to make sitting on the couch watching television 24/7  while eating a bag of potato chips sound like a luxurious stay at the Marriott. And don't get me wrong, I completely, fully, as a whole, understand and empathize why my family was not like any other family; the dynamic was different.
​        So, fast forward ten years and I'm in a higher education system, nearing the end of my third year, and wondering what the hell I am doing with my life. There are many events that led to make the final decision to study abroad in addition to my upbringing, but that's a different story. As I made the effort to research into what colleges I could attend outside of the country, I almost did not see my decision through due to the cost, time, and fear. I admit, I had many, many, many doubts, but it was time for me to step outside my comfort zone and do something different for a change, something that was a foreign concept for me. At first, I was afraid that my college friends would move on without me, form some new identities with new people and leave me behind in the dust while they drive off into the future. But, that's what life is about; being able to conquer your fears of being stranded, and not letting that fear hold you back, even if it means you don't know what to expect or if you're so scared you just might pee your pants. So I went through the application process, sent in my recommendations, wrote the necessary personal essay, interviewed with the higher-ups as the typical goes, and before I know it, my dad is dropping me off at SFO with two suitcases and a backpack. Given he did drop me off at the wrong terminal, but I was utterly alone now, ready but kind of not ready to fly across the country to....wait for it....Edinburgh, Scotland! This was my first time in Europe and my first time out of the United States, but first times are epic. After one layover in Atlanta and a sprint to make my London flight, I made it to Edinburgh feeling bloated as ever. Despite my insecurities, I shared a cab ride with another visiting student to our residence, which was still under construction by the way, and went our separate ways as an RA showed me to my flat. 
        Immediately walking in, I noticed only a heater under the window, and started to worry of how comfortable I would be without any cold air circulating. The RA chuckled and assured me I wouldn't need an air conditioner in Edinburgh. After informing me of the introductory pizza party later in the evening, he left me to unpack everything my two suitcases could possibly hold. I introduced myself to the Australian Brazilian flatmate two doors down, and was on my way to John Lewis to pick up bedding sheets and pillows. That was the first and probably the only time I felt like a complete and utter stranger in a foreign country because not only did I not know where I was going due to the lack of cellular data I had at that point, but also because I did not know what I was getting myself into going on this crazy journey. But, once I figured everything out (thanks to that Brazilian), and had settled in, it was already time for the pizza party. And what can I say, I dove in headfirst and met the greatest, the most carefree, down to earth people on that very first night. 
        Anyway, the point here I am trying to make is that many people travel when they're younger with their families and friends, but rarely do you get the chance to live in another country by yourself and become truly independent. You'll be tested in so many situations, socially, mentally, physically, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Look at some of the photos I took during my time abroad; can you guess which ones?
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